Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Suffering

       I was angry with God.

  In addition to my chronic illness and extremely painful back injuries, I had a demanding job and a young daughter to care for. The son we'd hoped to adopt had left us and been placed in a mental hospital in spite of our efforts to help him. My husband had recently lost his job and bills were piling up. My mother was exhausted from nursing my terminally ill stepfather, but I was unable to assist her. I felt crushed.

  Reading my Bible didn’t seem to help. I saw no answer to my frequent prayers.

  When I talked to my pastor he said, “Sometimes you just have to forgive God.”

  I was shocked!

  Forgiving is what God does for us, I thought. Who am I to forgive him?

  Then I looked in the dictionary and discovered forgiveness simply means to give up anger against someone, and did not require any authority over them, so I forgave God and told him so. 

      When I forgave God and chose to love him no matter what my circumstances, He showed me that my suffering was not evil.

       No matter what happens I can refuse to harbor anger and resentment toward God, trust him, and choose to make pleasing him a priority in my life. Then even physical and emotional pain can show his glory.

  And I joyfully look forward to the eternal home where God has promised there will be no more tears, our bodies will not need the protection of pain, and we will live without separation from him forever. 

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